20/11/2015 – Rotterdam, Netherlands
Listening now: Adele – When We Were Young
Dedicated to my disabled slave.
And my hand, in the emptiness, was still waiting for yours to guide me in the darkness. Still hoping for a bit of warmth in the cold night, some light in the obscurity. And the silence of the evening seemed to echoes the sound of your laugh, which, similar to a sticking plaster, used to fix the most profound injuries of my mind. And my eyes, desperate, were searching for a comforting glance of yours, a promise for you to always be there. And my lungs suffocating were looking for your breath, as a mist in the dull, an invitation to stay alive.
But only remains your silence in that railway station. A shy smile, as an ultimate attempt to suppress the sobs. My eyes avoiding yours, while something seemed to burn inside me, as if you were already gone. An embrace as a final grasp before the valediction. And at last, your escape while the wind of change wet your green eyes. Later, your perfume slowly fading away, while reading a few words written on paper, as a reminder of who we used to be, highlighting the solitude which follows your absence, the hollow resulting from the distance.
This, only to let you know that my heart keeps thinking about you. My soul still projects memories of our time together. My eyes remain sparkling while talking about you. My lips continue smiling, remembering. And my hands, missing you, keep praying, writing “forever”. I don’t know how long this is gonna last, but yes, I guess this could be considered as a desperate call to get you back, a hazardous attempt to catch the fading memories which constitute who we are. An audacious willing for you to come and grab my hand, walk silently on the highway of life and keep laughing about stupidities, crying for people who don’t deserve it, arguing kindly, singing loudly in the streets, running late after our buses and trains, dreaming awake, wandering curiously and above all, loving fiercely, anytime, anywhere.